Be The Match!

I am both excited and nervous when I think about finding a match “out there”. Once I send in my information and it is put on file, anybody looking for someone like me could find it. It might happen soon, or there might not ever be anybody out there who is a match for me. I have to be ready at any time to respond to my potential match. I can’t control if and when things might happen. But if it does, I know it will be worth it and I will be ready at the right time. Let me explain.

For those of you who know me personally, try to stop freaking out now. I am NOT leaving my husband of 25 years. Scott and I are doing fine. I’m talking about “Be The Match”, the National Marrow Donor Program. I work with medically fragile children. I have friends and relatives who have gone through serious illnesses. I have heard stories of people struggling with health issues, and I’ve often wished I could do something more to help them. The Be The Match program allows me to be available in a way that could be life changing. Signing up is easy and straightforward. Just go to this site: http://www.marrow.org/ and read the information. If you decide to join the registry you simply fill out some information on line. Then, if you qualify to be a potential donor, you will be sent a kit and further information. Once the kit arrives, just follow the directions, do the cheek swabs and mail the completed kit back. Your kit will be processed and you will be added to the donor registry. If you are matched for a donation, the doctor will decide which of two different procedures to do. From what I read, it seems that the discomfort is minimal and the recovery time is brief. It seems like a small sacrifice when there is the possibility of saving a life.

If your health is good and the desire to make a meaningful difference in this way appeals to you, I encourage you to consider joining the registry. Even with the millions of people who are already part of the registry, there are still many people who are unable to find a match. You might be the one among millions who could be an answer to prayer.

Motivation and Internal Drive

I’m not sure if this occurs more often with people with AD/HD or other learning disabilities, but in my experience those individuals are more motivated by external rewards and are less likely to be self-motivated. Since children who struggle need more encouragement and support, I wonder if they grow used to it and rely on it rather than find internal ways to motivate themselves. I’ve seen this in children who want to know up front what reward they will get for completing a task. They have become dependent on external reinforcement of some kind, either verbal praise or concrete rewards.
The mentality of “it’s not my job” seems to go along with the difficulty in motivating oneself to do less-preferred activities. At my house, I often hear “It’s not my assigned week to clean the kitchen.” Even though the speaker is without clean dishes for his own meal, he cannot bring himself to do a job above and beyond what he is assigned and fails to see how the extra effort helps him and the rest of the family in the long run. You know the sense of responsibility is shallow when someone walks past a crumpled paper on the floor near the trash can because she didn’t put it there and it’s not her paper. These children don’t share ownership enough to contribute and initiate outside of the specific requirements told to them by others.
When faced with a large task like cleaning her room, Beckie gives up before she even starts and concedes to living with clutter. She likes having a clean room, but can’t make herself do what it takes to accomplish it. Only when threatened with consequences or offered an incentive can she force herself into action. She responds to the external prompts and can’t seem to create the internal drive and motivation for herself.
I fear that externally motivated individuals will limit themselves to doing what others tell them to and will be disappointed when they don’t perceive the external praises and rewards to be adequate for continued motivation.