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Title: ADHD and ADD: Forever Fidgeting

Helping the Child Who Can't Sit Still!



When my son Josh was younger I tried to get him to sit still and be quiet when I was teaching him. I had to clear the surrounding area near Josh, or he would find something to pick up and fidget with in his hands or on his lap. Even if I thought I had all potential items out of reach, Josh would somehow find a stray rubber band or paper clip and would bend and stretch away until I took those items away, too. Once all the objects Josh could possibly fidget with were removed, I was dismayed to discover that Josh was undeterred. He just started picking at his clothes – drawstrings on sweatpants, buttons, sleeves, and loose threads all became substitutes for the fidgeting items he preferred.

Josh always insisted he was listening, even while he was wiggling away on his chair or the floor. I had a hard time believing it, because Josh sure didn’t look like he was paying any attention to anything but his fidgeting. I was spending too much time trying to eliminate the fidgeting, and we were both frustrated.
I decided to check Josh’s comprehension throughout the teaching time, and was pleasantly surprised to discover that he was actually following the conversation and taking in the information with good understanding, despite his relentless fidgeting.

I have since worked with many other children who fidget a lot, and I’ve found that they actually appear calmer and better able to attend when they are allowed to have something in their hands. I also know adults who feel better able to concentrate when they finger the keys or coins in their pockets.
There are times when we all have to sit quietly and still, but for some children (and adults!) those times need to be kept to a minimum. Rather than try to totally eliminate fidgeting, I suggest finding acceptable outlets to direct and confine the fidgeting in ways that work for the children and the adults who interact with them.

There are many items that work wonderfully for the child who needs something in his hands. I like to keep a basket full of fidget items that so that the child can choose from a number of objects, all equally acceptable to me. I make sure that the child has choices, which is empowering and builds confidence and self-acceptance.
I present the items as tools to help us, rather than as a punitive easure because the child can’t stop fidgeting. I also offer fidget items to the children who don’t really need them, so that they don’t feel left out and are more accepting of other children who are using the items. Interestingly, the ones who aren’t typically fidgeters quickly forget about the objects as they become engaged in activities, but the true fidgeters handle them constantly.

Some general rules for fidget items include selecting objects that are both lightweight and quiet. I have used Silly Putty®, pieces of cloth (satin has been a favorite with my fidgety daughter), round stones with a smooth finish, Koosh® balls, rubber balls with various degrees of hardness, stress balloons filled with rice or flour, Wikki Stix® (wax covered string), Legos, and other small toys. Some children tend to pick the same item each time, while others like having the variety and choose something different each time.

When fidget items are first introduced, it may seem to be taking too much of the child’s attention as they explore the object. Once the novelty wears off, however, and the same items are offered each time the children have their fidgeting needs met and are better able to concentrate on other things.

Another rule for fidget items is that they need to stay in the child’s hands, not thrown or rolled to others. I go over these rules and demonstrate acceptable ways to handle the objects prior to letting the children have them. Once the group activity or teaching time begins, I do not draw further attention to the fidget items other than to remind the children of the rules if necessary.

Why keep fighting the fidget battles, where no one comes out a clear winner? Trying to eliminate fidgeting means a lot of time being spent redirecting, removing objects, and generally disrupting the flow of activities. Some children are natural fidgeters, so encourage them to express that in ways that are positive and acceptable. It is ultimately less distracting for the other children and the adult in a group to allow those who need them to use fidget items. Keep your sense of humor, a basket full of fidget items, and feel free to fidget!

Copyright 2002, Melinda L. Boring, Heads Up!

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