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Title: Distractions: The Noise Mismatch

I am a person who enjoys silence and solitude. It�s not that I don�t like being around other people and engaging in social endeavors. I just don�t need to be surrounded by people and external stimulation constantly. I am content to be alone at times. There is something about a quiet atmosphere that appeals to me and rejuvenates me like nothing else can.

My most productive times for writing, planning, and thinking about my priorities occur during periods of solitude. When I am surrounded by the sounds of traffic, conversations, video games bleeping, and the radio, I find it very difficult to focus on any task requiring much concentration. I can perform automatic tasks such as wiping off the table, but it is hard for me to focus on anything much more challenging than that for any length of time.

My need for quietness is a huge mismatch with my children�s need to generate noise. Sometimes they are not even aware they are producing sounds until I ask them to stop. My son tends to thump his feet on our hardwood floor when he is concentrating on his schoolwork. He cracks his knuckles when he is nervous or uncertain what to do next. He frequently taps his hands on whatever objects are near to him as he decides what to do next. If he is bored, he will tap out various rhythms to amuse himself until his next entertaining idea comes along.

My daughter, Beckie, eliminates silence less often through the full-body type of noises that my son makes, and more often through the verbal realm. She chatters constantly. She doesn�t even really need for anyone to be listening to her, since she is fully capable of having a conversation all by herself! Every thought she is thinking seems to find its way out of her mouth.

Beckie has been a chatterer ever since she first began speaking. It is the way she evaluates and processes her experiences. She talks when she is making plans, feeling sad, or even when she is just feeling content. I used to watch her from my kitchen window while she played on the swing in our backyard. She would be the only one out there, and even though I couldn�t hear her I could still see her mouth moving as she chatted away to herself.

Another way Beckie frequently makes herself heard is through singing. She has the ability to hear a tune and easily sing it back. She loves to express herself through songs, and if she can�t remember a song for a given topic, she will make one up on her own. Beckie can also create imaginative stories, which she dramatizes enthusiastically with various sound effects.

Over the years I have come to realize that my son truly needs to fidget and move around, and he often doesn�t even realize that he�s making noise while he moves. Likewise, my daughter needs to talk � a lot! It�s how she makes sense of the world and sorts through her own thoughts and feelings.

Understanding the reasons why my house is rarely quiet is helpful information, but it hasn�t eliminated my need for occasional times of silence. I have learned to be strategic and plan for times when I will be alone for a few hours. I use those times to accomplish what I do best in a quiet atmosphere.

When I need to work on something that can�t wait until a more convenient and quiet time, I go to a different area of the house or ask the children to go to a different room for a few minutes while I work. I have a pair of foam earplugs, and I wear those to block out the background noise if it bothers me. At times I have asked Beckie to push her �pause� button while I finish writing a sentence or mix up a new recipe.

My children don�t always like going to a different room or waiting a minute to talk to me. I don�t like losing my train of thought because I�ve been distracted again by the multiple sounds that interrupt my thoughts. Despite our differences and the mismatch we have over noises, we truly care for each other. As such, we know we have to accommodate each other in ways that ultimately benefit us all. We find ways to meet our needs, although not always in the way we each would choose. When it comes to awareness and understanding of our individual needs, there, at least, we have a match.

I invite you to use any articles in your publication or website. All I ask is that you notify me of its use and include the following byline with the article ...

Melinda L. Boring is a speech therapist, author, workshop presenter, speaker, wife, mother, homeschooler, and president of Heads Up! (www.HeadsUpNow.com); Her goal is to present concepts, ideas, techniques and materials to help parents and teachers who work with special needs children, especially those who struggle with ADD/ADHD.

To request an article on a specific topic or submit a question for the Q & A section, you may contact Melinda by email: info@headsupnow.com. Unless otherwise specified, all questions may be answered and posted on this website.

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