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Distractibility         List of Categories        




  • I have a very creative and distractible son. He can take anything and make a story out of it and soon he's into the story and out of his school work. Immediately the fidget balloons filled with flour, rice, and popcorn (his idea) became a snow man, then represented the sides of a battle and he was taking bets (from the brothers who now want balloons of their own to join the game) as to who would win. His handwriting pages, math pages, etc. become border designs of carefully drawn heroes made out of the number 8, rescuing the beautiful 2 from the evil 7, all with attached hats, swords, and jet packs. Do I, (or rather how do I ?) stop all this endless rambling, enthusiastic story telling, and drawing?

    First of all, when I read your e-mail I realized I'm a lot more relaxed about things than I used to be, so thanks for that! My first thought when I read your description about your son was, "What a great kid!" He sounds so much like my son, Josh, especially when he was younger. He had an animated cartoon series about “Superstick”, "Stretch" and "Morphman." Those were the animated stick people that Josh created in his 3rd grade spelling book margins when I thought he was actually working on spelling. (His spelling still needs improvement, but he is a great artist!) The older I get, the more I appreciate and treasure that imaginative, creative side. I would not want to squelch that incredible part of him that is uniquely his approach to life and problem solving. But that doesn't help you get through the school work, does it? So, on to some practical things you can do... While you don't want to eliminate the very creative, story-telling aspects you see in your son, it is not unreasonable to try and confine it somewhat. Chances are, your son doesn't have a strong internal sense of structure and scheduling. You can provide the structure, and still allow for times when he can draw, imagine, and dramatize. I would tell him something like "Right now we need to get math done. When we have a break, you can __________." That way, he knows he will be able to act on his ideas when the time is more appropriate. As often as possible, I would also accept alternative responses to allow him to both demonstrate his understanding of concepts and express them in creative ways. Get him thinking about a topic, and then let him illustrate it through pictures, a puppet show, shadow boxes, a collage, a skit performed with his brothers, etc. You will have to decide which of his many ideas fit with what you want to accomplish. I think you are setting yourself up for frustration if you make it your goal to completely eliminate the endless rambling, story telling, and drawing. But it is reasonable to direct those creative energies and limit them to certain times. It may be helpful to use a picture/written chart of what needs to be accomplished daily, so your son can begin to understand that you have to get a certain amount of work done each day. You can then refer to the chart when he begins to wander off and remind him that there are still items left to accomplish, but always with the reassurance that he will be allowed to draw, etc. when the work is done or at the next break time. When he is free to express himself, enjoy! It will be something to behold.

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  • How can you tell if a child is truly having difficulty comprehending the material, or is just “rattling your cage?”

    My son, Josh, learned early on how to “push my buttons,” and I admit I would put on a pretty good show which was engaging and entertaining to him. When I learned to contain my emotions, be patient and very “matter of fact” it was much less rewarding for him. This is difficult to do, especially when you have to repeat instructions for the fourth time. I adopted the approach that I would continue to repeat directions like a “broken record” if he claimed to forget what he was asked to do. If it was a stall tactic, Josh would quickly become bored with hearing the same response in the same way each time. I also allow alternate ways of responding to material, so that if a child is having difficulty with written responses I allow her to answer orally. Sometimes my children would draw a picture pertaining to the information we were studying, and then explain it to me. Role playing, demonstrating, or teaching the information to another child are additional ways to assess the child’s comprehension besides using the traditional paper and pencil test.

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  • I have an 8-year old child who has difficulty following through. She is able to repeat back to me my instructions, but then she gets distracted and doesn’t obey, so it becomes a matter of disobedience. How can I help her?

    I would suggest cutting back on the number of instructions you give to her at one time. Instead of telling her to: get dressed, brush her teeth, make her bed, eat breakfast, clean up and get her math book out; cut that back to one or two things at a time. Then have her come back to you for the next set of instructions. I remind you that for genuinely distractible children, this often is not a matter of willful disobedience. There are some physical and neurological impediments to retaining instructions in their long-term memory. As my daughter would say “I am just a ‘forgetter’ kind of girl.” Remember, no one would choose to be that forgetful on purpose.

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  • My daughter is musically inclined and loves music, but her schoolwork is very sloppy and she is rushing through it so she can return to her music. How can I turn this around?

    Tie music into the learning experience wherever possible; sometimes this is called “Delight centered” learning. Much of music is related to mathematics: each measure must be comprised of half-notes, quarter-notes, whole-notes, etc. These must add up to the tempo assigned to the piece of music, i.e. 3-4 time, 4-4 time. You can study history and relate each period or era to the music that was popular during that time. Be creative. Use music as an incentive, as a reward; you must hold the line and demand quality work. Tell your daughter that if she does a sloppy, half-hearted job, then she will have to re-do the work until it is acceptable. You can (truthfully) point out that taking the time to do it right the first time will actually allow more time for music in the long run. Use background music to help create an atmosphere conducive to learning. Music from the Baroque period is typified by a tempo of 60-70 beats per minute and studies have found that this allows the brain to stay in a relaxed, alert state and helps learning take place.

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